The Every Day Leader: Being Real

As I sit at my desk I am looking at an ad for a conference called the  “The Super Summit”. 

I think about what that means. It seems we are always striving to be super and not just super at one thing but at EVERYTHING!

I think about the conversations I had this week with people trying to be super and even how I can get caught up in that image. In reality we are made to rely on God.  We are called to live authentically.  Deep down we know that  all God calls us to be is ourselves.  To do the best we can – but to be real.

I wonder why we think we must all be the Super Women or Men – having it all together, doing it all – home, work, friends, church, community…. never allowing ourselves to be anything less than that super person in the eyes of others.

To be honest it feels good to think we can do it all, it feels good to have others respect us and look to us, and to be needed.

The danger of this entire superman living is that it can’t last. Sooner or later it catches up to us and if we let it, it will destroy us.

In the end, we aren’t super human – but for some reason we have the expectation that we should be.

We think we should be able to manage at work giving 100%.  We think we should be able to manage at home and being the all to everyone.  We think we should be involved in our community and our church.  We think we should reach out to others.  All of the expectations we put on ourselves don’t allow us to be anything but super humans.  We get so caught up in the things we should be doing that we somehow forget to live.  We don’t have time to enjoy the blessings of the day.  And in all this we strive to meet the expectations that others have on us.

We don’t give ourselves the freedom to hurt, struggle, or be sad because there is no room or time for the messiness that life often brings. We rarely have time to laugh and to appreciate those who truly care about us and want our best.

Many of us have the same expectations of ourselves as leaders.  We don’t allow ourselves to have messy lives, to struggle or to have anything less than perfect. We strive to show those around us that we are super human and life is good all the time with no mess.

We allow people to see only the productive side of things, all the outside stuff, never allowing them to see the mess backstage (which, is a well-kept secret).

Somehow, we think what really matters to everyone and to us is what can be displayed on the outside – productivity.

Leaders know that life can be messy.  We know that it can be hard, and if we are honest we also know that we are not made to be super human.

We know that being real, allowing people to see who we are and who we are not, opens the door to influence another.  We know it allows them to see us walking the journey one step at time. Our story allows others to relate to us.

Every day leaders don’t have to be super human to make a difference in the lives of others.   They understand that leading a life of influence means that we allow people to see us – not who we think we should be – but really see who we are.  We know that when we allow others to see the real us as we walk the journey  that we can have a  lasting impact on those around us. 

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The Every Day Leader: Rising Above

In 1931 a gentleman name J.T. Lang gave the term “tall poppy” to those on government salaries that earned a high amount.  A tall poppy is referred to someone who is successful in their field.  From that, folks from Australia have coined a new phrase over the years called “the tall poppy syndrome”.

It is a term referred to one pulling another down that is more successful – especially if they show the slightest bit of imperfection.

It somehow makes us feel better about ourselves.

I didn’t know the term until many years ago – but I have known people to do this, known what it feels like to have it done to me and also know how easy it is to get pulled into being a part of it.

The tall poppy syndrome shows it face when someone appears better at something than you…we become jealous.  When we can find a flaw in that person, it becomes an instant way to bring them down a notch…maybe even down to the level we are at.

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Sometimes, all that is needed is awareness that we are capable of doing this.

Can you think of someone now that you are just a little jealous of?  Their skills?  Their looks?  Their position?  How do you handle that?  Are you the one that points out something negative about them or do you celebrate with them?

Ever since I have heard of the term, I have been more conscious of thinking of the tall poppy.  Someone may be a better communicator, a better leader, a better dresser…a better anything.  I am instantly reminded of the tall poppy.

Leaders intentionally celebrate the gifts of others.  They congratulate, they encourage and they look up to them, rather than bringing them down to their level.  We know the importance of not only our words, but our thoughts. Thoughts lead to actions.

When we are intentional even in our thought life, we are better people.  We have new opportunities to influence another. 

We know to celebrate the tall flowers that come up, knowing that God has made us all unique.  It’s what we do…celebrate others success.

Next time, when you are tempted to critique the tall poppy that is doing something better than you…may you be reminded of the beauty they bring, as well as the beauty you bring. 

Every day leaders share successes, knowing that we make a difference when we celebrate together.

The Every Day Leader: Railroad tracks and Frequent stops

Do you ever feel like there is no end in sight?  That perhaps the hard journey you are on will keep going and you wonder if you can make it? 

I would venture to say that you are not alone.

Hard times in our lives are like that.  Even if we know there is an end ahead, it feels like it is so far away that we want to give up.  We  are weary and want to rest.  We are discouraged. We are heartbroken.

I look at the railroad track that seems as if it goes on forever.  What I love is that even though it goes for miles and miles, it stops at destination points.  It picks up or delivers the cargo.

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Our journey in life is much the same.  There are destinations in the midst of our trip that provide respite, where God is at work caring for us.  It may be a caring friend, kind words from a coworker, someone checking in us…little bits of encouragement along the way.  It is the times when people invest in you.

It is those times, those destinations along the way that keep us going.  This is especially true when the journey is long and hard.  It is when the journey has unexpected twists and turns that are difficult to navigate alone.

Every day leaders not only provide those respite times for others on their journey, but they also recognize and embrace those that provide it for us.  Both of these opportunities are times when we have to choose. We have to be intentional to let others be that rest stop and speak encouragement into our lives.

We have to choose to be the refreshment for someone else.

The  train goes along and stops here and there.  Just as our lives go along and has stops here and there.  We have to choose to get off on the stops.  To refresh, not only ourselves but others.

Every day leaders know it is what we all need.  We know that our intentional choices make a difference in the lives of another on their journey of life.

Guest Post: Singing Happy Birthday to YOU

On January 17th not so long ago the world was changed. It might not have been noticed right away but the world definitely became a kinder place. A sweet little girl was born.

A little girl was born in Nebraska to a dairy farmer and his wife and to four awesome sisters.

little c copyThis pure bundle of joy would go on to help disadvantage kids at school and later become one of the top nonprofit Executive Directors in south Atlanta.

139Thank you Cathy for all you do and for all you have done to make this world a better place. We are so proud of you. We are proud to call you friend. Thank you for your heart of gold, your smile and laughter that lights up every room, and for being there to help so many through such hard times. Thank you for having such a huge heart of compassion.

Today on this very special birthday your friends wish you tons of blessings but more importantly we pray God will use you in even grater ways:

That He will stir up the fire of passion within you to accomplish even greater things for Him

That the dreams He gave you so long ago will be fulfilled this year

That you would have even more of God’s anointing to fulfill His call on your life

That He would bring you out to even deeper waters of knowing who He really is and His love

That you would feel loved. Loved like you have never felt before

Happy Birthday to you!

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The Every Day Leader: Life in the Rear View Mirror

I love to go for drives…one of my favorite drives is in the mountains. Nothing compares to the scenery!  I find myself looking not just in front of me but often glancing to see what is off to the sides.  There is always so much to take in!  We all know that we are to glance in our mirror from time to time to be aware of our environment…but we know that when we do we might miss something ahead!

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When we look back we miss what’s in front of us

If we would spend all of our time looking at what’s behind us, we wouldn’t just miss what’s ahead, we would not be able to proceed forward!  If we did, we would not likely make it very far.

Funny thing is that we often do this in life.  We are so concerned about the past, dwelling on what happened yesterday, that we miss the beauty of today.  Much like in the car, it would be impossible to move forward when only looking back – in fact it would be disastrous.   If we spend more time looking behind us, we miss out on the blessings of today.

The flip side is if we totally disregard the past we will not learn from past mistakes.  We would not understand the effect the past has had – both good and bad on our lives.  We would not be the same person if we totally ignored the past.

Just like driving, looking in the rear view mirror helps us be aware of our surroundings.  A wise driver will look back every so often but not stay there.

How about you?  Where are you looking? 

Are you stuck looking in the rear view mirror – unable to move forward?  Are you forgetting to look in that mirror altogether maybe because of something painful you would rather forget? 

Being a healthy person means we take the time to see the past.  We are willing to  learn from it, deal with the hurts, delight in memories and be thankful for all that God has done.  It also means to be willing to move beyond it.  To embrace the present – really embrace the moments God has given us.  It also means to hoping for tomorrow, knowing God has our tomorrows in the palm of His hand.

Everyday leaders work on this balance – to be our best selves.  To be able to move forward, making a difference every step of the way.

The Every Day Leader: Seeing the BIG Picture

All week I have had a cardinal trying to fly through my window…not just once but several times a day!   For the life of me I cannot figure out what it is that he may see on the inside.  It seems so futile…and on top of that, it seems that he would learn from the first few times of hitting the glass!

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I was struck with the thought of how much we can be like the Cardinal.  How often do we see something we want – or think we want – trying desperately to get it, over and over and over, but to no avail.

Could it be because we are so stubborn that we refuse to see what we need to see?  We keep trying the same thing over and over hoping for different results.  Wishing for change.  We are not willing to learn, to take the time to look at things differently  and change our course of action, so we keep hitting the glass.

Do you have something in your life now that you feel like you are hitting a wall over and over again? 

In our home, the door is right next to the window, but the cardinal is unable to look at the bigger picture and see the door as a possibility.

Leaders know that if something isn’t working we may need to try something else, look for another option and see the overall picture. It may take some time to study the situation, look for alternatives; and try another way.  We know that patience and diligence will pay off in the end. 

It’s what every day leaders do.

What wall are you running into?

Step back.  Study it.  Look for another way. 

It’s what Every Day leaders do.  Rather than get frustrated they are willing to reevaluate.  It may take time, but it is worth in the end…and not nearly as tiring!