Tag Archives: leadership

The Every Day Leader: Speaking Truth

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“My best friend is someone who brings out the best in me” – Henry Ford

Have you ever had someone asked your thoughts on something and rather than answer politely you wanted to tell them what you were REALLY feeling? Yet, there is something in us that holds back.

Sometimes we hold back because we are simply reacting without thinking about it and realize it would be a big mistake to blurt out our reaction. Maybe we hold back because we are only filtering it through how it makes us feel. Perhaps we choose not to say anything because we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.

I am sure we have all had these experiences at least once in our lives. I would also venture to say that holding back is not always the best thing we can do. I don’t mean we should say whatever is on our mind without regard to the other person. Speaking truth in love is one of the greatest gifts we can give another.

The key is saying it with love. That doesn’t mean we say it nicely, soften it up and water it down, or tip toe around the issue. It means we speak truth to another because we care enough to take the chance. Speaking truth in love means we care enough to thoughtfully respond in love as an act of kindness.

I am a firm believer that being nice and being kind are two different things. The nice person skirts around things, never wanting to upset anyone. The kind person takes the time and invests in another – to challenge, to speak truth, to guide. It is what makes us better people.

It is a gift of a best friend.

It takes building a relationship of mutual trust and respect. It is what sets the every day leader apart. It is someone willing to be kind.

It is about speaking truth in order to make a positive difference – to speak truth because you care.

I long to be that person of trust and influence and am grateful for those who do this for me!

Every day leaders influence those around them. They build a relationship. They are kind and go the extra mile, they speak the truth with love first.

 

 

 

 

The Every Day Leader: Guarding YOUR heart

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There are many things that can come from our heart.  We can try to hide things deep inside, but eventually they work their way out.  Bitterness, hurt, unforgiveness, hate…they are difficult to hide.

On the flip side the good things…love, kindness, joy, forgiveness are things that ooze out in a way that cannot be contained.

For those that know you, what would they say flows from your heart?

 Love?

Hate?

Kindness?

 Bitterness?

Forgiveness?

To be a person of influence Every Day Leaders need to know what is in our heart.  We need to know that we must be intentional to deal with the difficult things in life that cause heartache.  We also know all too well that left uncared for, these very things can fester and have huge consequences on everything we do.

Reflect. Search. Choose.  And know what comes from our heart is what can make a difference in the life of another. Every day leaders know that what is on the inside matters most.

The Every Day Leader: Courage

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I remember watching the Wizard of Oz as a kid.  I was fascinated with the many different characters and the yellow brick road – the journey to Oz.  No one can forget what each character was in search of. What Dorothy was looking for made perfect sense to me, she simply wanted to go home.  Who wouldn’t want to get home? I can relate with her on most days!

What the others wanted was a little harder for me to grasp at such a young age.  Didn’t everyone have a heart and a brain? As a six-year-old, courage was the one that seemed a little different. I simply thought of it as being something you needed every now and then for the big things you  might face.

As I grew older I found those same things the characters sought are still things that many of us seek today.

 Many of us chase our roots, instead of home, trying to find where we really came from and how we belong.   Everyone has this innate need to feel and be a part of something.  If we don’t have that sense of belonging we continually search to find it.

Like the scarecrow, we know we need a brain and often seek after higher education – many of us becoming eternal students. 

How many of us search diligent trying to fill the emptiness we often find in our hearts?

For many of us we hope we have courage at the exact time we need it!

Courage is not just needed for big things but is really something we need each day!

If you are struggling, it takes courage to keep going

Courage is needed to take the first step

Courage is needed to hear your own voice in the crowd

Courage is needed to take a stand

Courage is needed to think and speak for yourself

Courage is needed to stand up for yourself and not listen to lies

Courage is needed to follow your dreams….

Courage is so much more than something needed in a time of crisis, and is required for more things than I could have ever imagined as a kid.

I now also realize that courage comes with understanding.  It comes with knowing who you are.  There are many times in our lives we have to be intentional to be courageous. 

It takes intentional courage to step our of our comfort zone.  It takes intentional courage to be a catalyst for change.  It is what we, as every day leaders, must be willing to pursue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Every Day Leader: Breaking out of the mold

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I once gave a speech in high school that started out with this line…

“The statue of liberty is still standing. Of course everyone expects it to be”.

While I don’t remember the rest of the speech, I remember talking and thinking a great deal about expectations.

That was MANY years ago…Life experiences have taught me much more about expectations since that time. For one, we all have expectations for others, for our country, for our lives. Secondly, we all have expectations we think we need to live up to from others.

Sometimes the expectations are good and spur us on to do better and reach higher. Other times, the expectations we perceive for our lives can bury us, as we struggle to live up to them.

There are times that we may even put ourselves in a mold that we think we should fit into, based on the expectations we or others place on us.

Are you living your life based on the expectations of others? Or, are you living your life in such a way that you are okay to break out of the mold, to live the way you were created to live?

Are you using your gits, talents and passions in such a way to make a difference?

Breaking out of the mold:

takes courage

takes determination

A bold confidence to make a change

Knowing who you are

It means taking a risk

The choice is yours. We can stay in the mold that we are in. We can live a life based on the expectations of others. We can also choose to breakout, take that first step for a bold change, living every day with meaning and purpose.

Every day leaders don’t settle. They are willing to break out of the mold knowing that sometimes we have to step out and make a difference.

The Every Day Leader: Reaching out to a messy world

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This morning before the sign was flipped to the “open” position at our nonprofit agency, I had already spent ten minutes on the phone with a grieving father, and another twenty minutes with a mother who spoke only through the sobs of losing her adult son.

The sadness, the guilt, the loss…it was more than either of them knew what to do with, it was all-consuming. For years addiction had consumed their son and virtually destroyed their marriage. Now, here they are talking to a stranger, thanking me for caring for their son, knowing that we had befriended and helped him during his time of need. Immediately following that conversation I moved to another with an older gentleman, at the opposite end – facing the winter season of his life, who had lost all of his family relationships from mental illness and bad decisions.

Struggling. Lonely. Searching. Longing for life to be different, and yet, feeling there is not much hope of it actually being different. He was wanting, more than anything, to simply have someone just willing to talk with him.

In both of these situations, life took unexpected twists and turns. Life got messy. All of these folks walk their journey alone, feeling like they don’t belong.

I wonder how many others walk it alone?

How often do we assume everyone is okay and that they have someone to rely on? If we realized how many people we see each day that are alone and hurting, would we be more willing to reach out and care about them?

I wonder if we only knew, would we act differently? Would we take more time out of our busy days? Would we take the time to speak and truly care how someone is – to make eye contact and see the hurt? I wonder how different our world would be if each of us lived this way.

Next time you see someone, no matter where you are…take the time to care.

Isn’t that what we all strive for, to know that we matter to another? Our business, our non-profit, our life…we strive to know that what we do matters, that we matter. I know that when I take the time to simply listen, to care, and to pray for those who are hurting, it is in those moments, I know that my life matters.

As Every Day Leaders, it is the little things we do each day that can leave a lasting impact. May we never forget that every moment really does matter!

The Every Day Leader: JUMP

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Do you ever have that feeling in the pit of your stomach, wondering how something is going to turn out, if your decision was the right one or even because of a pending decision you are trying to make?

It doesn’t feel so good.

In fact, I would venture to say it is a feeling none of us really care for! Yet, we all know it, and know it well. We have all experienced it at one time or another.

As Every Day Leaders, we know we can trust our skills, abilities and instincts. We know that we must be intentional to set aside the doubting and second-guessing.

Jump, the parachute will open.

It may be scary. It may even create that queasy feeling in the pit of our stomach. It may be overwhelming.

A leader knows they were trained and gifted for this moment.

The worst thing that can happen is to fail and that puts us in GREAT company!! Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Col Sanders, Warren Buffet and many other entrepreneurs lost everything at least once, before they experienced success.

Every Day Leaders know they have what it takes to navigate through making decisions, to launch that next great company or idea.

They are willing to step out, make their best decision and trust the future. They can be confident in their decisions and in who they are and how God made them.

so…JUMP!

The Every Day Leader: Living out LOUD

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Sidewalk prophets, a singing group, has a great song that reminds us to live what we believe, recklessly abandoned and never holding back.

Don’t you just love those words? Recklessly abandoned and never holding back.

I really do want to live like that!

This is the reminder that we are more than simply the words we speak; we are the behavior that we model. BEHAVIOR Matters.

Have you ever heard the saying don’t do what I do, do what I say?  It doesn’t have much of a lasting impact, does it?  As people we are not wired to follow hypocrisy but we run hard after authenticity. We will follow leaders whose walk and talk is consistent and who live out their beliefs for all to see, without compromising.

Actions speak louder than words.

 This is true for our employees, our volunteers, it is true for our neighbors, and it is true for our clients or customers.  It is true for anyone we have the opportunity to influence.  

What is the world seeing when they see you?

 Know what you believe, Live it out LOUD.

Everyday leaders live a life that others want to follow.  Being intentional to make a difference. 

Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets 2012

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I’m only just a memory
When I’m home where my soul belongs

Was I love
When no one else would show up
Was I Jesus to the least of those
Was my worship more than just a song

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

If love is who I am
Then this is where I’ll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back

I want to live like that
I want to live like that

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are
That grace can really change a heart
Do I live like Your love is true

The Every Day Leader: PEOPLE over Tasks

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I drove down the long dirt road and I looked at the farms along the way, such a peaceful setting, so calming, this will always be home.

To me a farm is the most beautiful setting that I know…yet, I also know that it means chores that have to be done each day, whether you feel good or not or even if you feel like it or not.

I remember the quiet, with an occasional interruption by the sound of the mourning dove singing it’s song. The farm provided such safety to me as a child, what I remember most was that life was simpler back then.

There was work, but there was fun. We also had time for fun when the neighbor stopped by or it was time to gather as a family. As I grew older I learned that sharing and working together was more than just sharing my dolls and playing house. It meant sharing a car, combining trips into town to save on gas, it meant helping out when needed. What I really learned was what mattered most…

people

People matter to every day leaders. They matter more than things or money or our jobs. Today we have many things competing for our attention, many things competing for that first spot of what matters most in our lives.

What are you choosing?

Are you more concerned about what house you live in, what clothes you are wearing, what status you have with your job?

I don’t want to just be busy. I long for the simple life where people are what matters.

Every day leaders intentionally choose. They choose how to spend their time instead of just being busy. They choose people over tasks knowing that life should never be to busy to not invest in another.

The Every Day Leader: Handling tough days

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We all have had one of THOSE days. Songs get sung about them and even children’s books get written about them. It is the day that nothing seems to go right and you wonder why you even bothered to get out of bed and how soon you can get back in bed.

Maybe your day started with your kids not wanting to get up for school and they missed the bus and made you late for work.  Maybe it was a day that you had to deal with difficult people, more projects than time, a team that does not do what they were suppose to, poor communication that cost delays, or a disgruntled client. It could be any of these or all of these or something totally different that caused your “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day”.

In the kid’s book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad day by Judith Viorst,  Alexander reckons the best way to solve his terrible day is to move to Australia.

 Sounds good to me!

 There are days I am ready to runaway. There are days that Australia does not seem far away enough!

But in the middle of my feet being half way out the door, I stop. I realize…

Leaders don’t run. 

 Leaders know that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  They know that the hard days are just that.  HARD.  And in the midst of the hard days we are being refined in our character. We are being refined in our commitment. And we are modeling to our circle of influence how to navigate through the storms.

 What about you?  Are you having one of the terrible, horrible, no good very bad days? 

How are you managing through it?  Are you walking in such a way that others see you and learn how to handle those with grace?

When we as leaders model grace and commitment others begin to see that the hard days don’t last forever, and that solutions can be found in the midst of difficulties.  They see things do eventually get better.

Leaders take each day as they come, knowing that it is all part of the journey.  We know that HOW we respond to the day and what others see  DOES matter.

The every day leader knows that we don’t have to allow those hard days to define who we are and how we respond, we can use them to refine our character.

We can have joy in the midst of the circumstances. We can show grace to difficult people because we too have been difficult at times. We can face the tough day and know that it is only temporary.

I want to be the every day leader that when a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day happens I don’t run, because bad days happen even in Australia!

 

 

 

The Every Day Leader: Who are YOU?

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One of the most important aspects of being a leader is to know yourself.  Know without a shadow of a doubt: what you value, what your passions are, how you see life, how you see others, and who you are. 

Knowing yourself is the foundation of leadership.  If you don’t know who you are, if you are not firmly rooted in your beliefs, your values, etc, how will you be consistent to live them out?  Why would others follow you?    

If someone asked you today what is it that you value the most, would you have to think about it or could you immediately respond?

 Are you living your life in such a way that it reflects who you are?

 

One of the greatest ways to influence is to model what you believe before others. Be the person you want others to be. How we live each day stands out more than:

the words we say

more than the things we do

more than the accomplishments we have done

 Our actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. Living our life out loud is how we influence others. What do you want others to see in your life?

One of the greatest ways for leaders to live is to lead  a life that reflects love.  A life that has a mindset and attitude of loving others is powerful.  When we lead with love we are…

generous

kind

Others know that we value them

We put others first

We become servant leaders

Every day leaders know themselves.  They know who they are, what they value and how they want to live their lives.