The Every Day Leader: The Script

Everyone has one, though we may not talk about it, we may not acknowledge it is there, but we all know and have seen the effects of that script in our head.

Who wrote yours?

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The messages slip in almost unnoticed.

they creep…slowly…quietly…steadily…

The words come from trusted sources: unkind words spoken from a friend, the mistreatment from a spouse or loved one, and disrespect from a boss.

The words come from being out of work for months and the rejection of the job search. They come from the loss of a loved one and the rejection from a divorce.

The script plays over and over in our head, and we buy into the lies it spreads. We begin to wonder…

WHO AM I?

Do I Matter

Does My Life Count?

We question and find it hard to believe that there is a God that could really love us enough to send his son to die on a cross for us. We question if we are valued enough for His death. We think if I were the only one would He still have come to die?

We keep our wounds and continue to hurt inside, we stay disappointed, disillusioned, and continue stuffing the feelings further down – believing the script in our head must be right.

Is a $100 bill any different in value if it is crumpled?  Image

We know the value is unchanged in money whether, it came from the pocket of our jeans or from a bank drawer, and yet we refuse to see our lives or the lives of others in the same way. We think that if our lives do not look nice and or feel nice that somehow OUR value has changed.

No matter what we have experienced, no matter what we look like, no matter how we view ourselves the truth of the matter is our value is still the same and Christ would have still come and died for us.

It is time we rewrote the script in our head with the words of truth from our creator:

You are treasured

You are chosen

You Matter

You are loved

You are made in the Image of the Giver of Life

Jason Gray, a popular Christian artist, wrote a song called Remind me Who I am for those times that we struggle to remember:

When I lose My way,

And I forget my name,

Remind me who I am.

In the mirror all I see,

Is who I don’t wanna be,

Remind me who I am.

In the loneliest places,

When I can’t remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to you.

Who I am to you.

Tell me must I forget who I am to you.

That I belong to you.

The Every Day Leader: Living Life Intentionally

The innocent acts of children can teach us so many valuable lessons. I sat on the bed the other day and watched my beautiful little one and half-year old granddaughter struggle to dress herself. She insisted she could “do it herself”, no help was needed nor would she take any. I leaned back and smiled and watched her as she was so intent on accomplishing her task.

Are we any different then this precious little child as adults? Do we not still not insist on doing things ourselves and being so very independent? How often have these same thoughts run through our minds that “we don’t need anyone else?” How many times have we followed this line of thinking to the point of even shutting others out of our lives, even at the very times we need them the most? We deliberately choose to walk the long road of our journey alone instead of allowing others to come beside us and help carry the load. As I watched my granddaughter I wondered if this is really what God had in mind when He made us?

The Bible is full of references to: fellowshipping with one another, the importance of breaking bread together, the power when two or more are gathered in His name to pray, and the relief one gets to know that there is in fact someone coming along side them to help carry the burden.

Even as Christians we justify our actions of independence and act as if these very same scriptures do not apply to us.  We even take it a step further and become the king and queen of pat answers as we say we are “fine” or “all good” when asked how we are by a passerby or someone who cares and we quickly walk on or change the subject making sure that the “road closed” sign stays in place and we walk alone.

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The problem with a “road closed” sign is that life is messy and the road is often bumpy with more twists and turns then we ever wanted.  We know we desperately want someone to share the road with us but we have guarded ourselves so much that not only do we not know how to reach out; our pride often prevents the “road closed” sign from coming down.

On the flip side of this scene is the people who are so busy that they have developed tunnel vision to the hurting that are around them. They breeze through their agendas, their schedules, their to-do lists, and their day and never look up to see that there are others in this world who desperately need. They need them to be engaged, to offer a hand that helps, a listening ear, a smile, a hug, a phone call, or even a letter or card letting them know they are seen and are cared about.

It was not that long ago that we lived so very differently. Our front porches were our living rooms filled with neighbors who we knew by name. We sipped our sweet teas and lemonades and we caught up on each others day. We knew the intimate heartache of each other and we never shied away from offering a shoulder to cry on, a soothing word, a hand that helped, and we never expected anything in return.

Today we live in our perfect houses and our porches are super clean from lack of use. We drive in and out of our garages shutting the door and keeping the world at bay. We live our lives, oblivious to those around us, never even knowing who are neighbor is, their name or even who is in their family.

Being independent is not always a bad thing but when it shutouts the world, a world who desperately needs us and one that we desperately need, then it may be time we reevaluate our position and what independence really is.

Life was intended to be lived intentionally with others.To be walked side-by-side and shared with those around us, with those who care, and with those we encounter.

May we strive to live out Galatians 6:2 with all those we meet. May strive to be intentional on not shutting out those who care and love us the most.

Galatians 6:2 “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ

The Every Day Leader: A life lived in an explosion of color

Spring in the South is really an amazing thing. For most of the year we barely notice the beauty of nature because it is hidden in the background just being green and blending in to its surroundings. And then spring comes and with it an explosion of color! Vines that were unnoticed, like Wisteria, all of a sudden are the most amazing purple banners along our roads announcing to all who pass that spring is here and refreshing the soul with the sweetest scent ever put into the air.

As I gazed upon these beautiful banners while driving, I suddenly realized how much this vine is so much like people. It is so easy for us to go along in life, unnoticed, just going through the motions of every day living and yet not really living at all. This is not active participation, it’s not contributing to the world around you, it is merely existing. Existing produces emptiness inside each of us; we were created for so much more than just that.

So how do we bloom bright like the Wisteria? How do we make our lives count and live each day passionately embracing every moment and living it as if it were our last?

The first step is realizing how uniquely made you are. That you were born at a chosen time and the gifts you have to offer the world are so needed and no one can offer them but you. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14). God has formed you with his own hands, he has gifted you with talents and experiences that are so unique and He alone has ordained your footsteps.  This is our foundation.

The next step is finding our strengths and passion and using our skills, when that happens, a mundane way of life begins to change to a life of beauty shining full of color to all those we encounter. We no longer fade into the background. As we find our fit and contribute to this world, our lives become breathtaking!

May we never settle to be like the vine that goes unnoticed, just doing the motions of life. Instead may we use all that we have been given and stand out and make a difference and live a life of color!

Make your life count!

The Every Day Leader: A View from the Church Pew

It was a very simple funeral with just a hand full of folks that came.  Life had taken many twists and turns along the way and ended very differently for my friend. He never expected life would turn out the way it did, he never set out to make life different from you or I when he was growing up.  All his life he had friends, made it through Eagle Scouts, graduated and went on with his life.

Somewhere along the way prescription drugs got in the way and played havoc in his life.  He ended up homeless and burned the bridges to many of his relationships along the way. What he did learn was to treasure those that would take the time to care for him and love him without passing judgment on him.

Here was a man who clung to all he had and all he knew, it was simple but it was also profound… Jesus loved him this he knew for the Bible told him so. This simple faith he modeled before me whenever I saw him and countless others every day. Through his eyes I saw life just a little bit differently. My perspective changed and widened and encompassed those that were hurting, those that were down and out, those that needed more grace, more compassion, and those needing more love.

As I sat in that pew and looked around how I wished that each person  there could have the privilege that I had, to walk his journey with him side by side. How I wish I could get the ones there in this small church and those not there to see the value of a simple “Hello” and how that meant so much to this man and to many others. How I wish those there could understand and see how a simple act of buying a lunch or giving a ride home changes lives forever and yet it is not the life of the hurting but it is our lives that are changed.

This friend of mine wanted so much for someone to care. Is he any different from us? How many times do we pass someone and ask them how they are and never even wait for the answer. How many times are we the ones that give the pat answer of “fine” or “I’m OK” and deep down we are dying on the inside from life’s messiness.

May we never be so busy or caught up in life that we fail to look around with eyes that truly see. Eyes that see ourselves as we really are, eyes that see others and their pain. May we never be so busy that we don’t offer the ultimate gift to those around us… The gift of ourselves, our time, our hearts, and our love.

I want to live like that.