Tag Archives: Cathy Berggren

The Every Day Leader: Around the Table

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Yesterday I blocked out an hour for a lunch meeting.   The hour lunch turned into a two-hour lunch, then into a three-hour lunch.   The same was true for my lunch the next day. In fact it seems when people stop and take time to break bread together something profound happens.

The time is never wasted.

There is something magical that happens around a table, whether food is involved or simply just a cup of coffee. When you intentionally meet with someone over a meal or coffee, relationships change.  The acquaintance becomes someone you get to know, a current relationship often grows stronger and trust starts to develop.

When I was kid, I watched my parents model this.  No matter what they were doing, if someone stopped in for coffee my parents stopped and made the time to sit down and build that relationship.  It was how neighbors kept in touch.  It is how you knew what was happening with your neighbor.  It was a different way of living back then.  Today, neighbors don’t usually stop in for a cup of coffee; and we are often too busy to invite them to.

Relationships are still built by gathering around together and one of the best way to do that is around the table. 

Every day leaders have to be intentional to seek to invite others into fellowship.  We have to be willing to take the time to build relationships. If you are in the business world it is important to connect with your employees and clients. In the non-profit world it is important to get to know those that partner with you, volunteer for you, and support you in a variety of ways is vital to your success. As individuals we can intentionally reach out to a friend or neighbor and invite them to come and sit around the table for a bit.

When was the last time you took a break from your busy day and met someone for coffee?  Maybe there is someone you know who is merely an acquaintance and you would like to get to know them better.  Perhaps it is one of your employees that you sense is struggling. Maybe it is someone who has helped you bring your dreams to life. A simple cup of coffee around the table, or the simple act of breaking bread can change that relationship forever – it will bring connectedness.

We as people long to feel cared about.  We long to feel connected.  We want those around us to really know us, more than just our name. Remember the TV show ‘Cheers’?  It was the place where everyone knew your name, just as the theme song pointed out.  Something each one of long for.

Every day leaders intentionally seek to build relationships around the table. They intentionally invite and break bread and add value to others.

The Every Day Leader: Resourcefulness

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re·source·ful (adjective): able to deal skillfully and promptly with new situations and difficulties

The old braided rug stays in the kitchen.  To most anyone else, it is nothing more than just that.  What I see is the memories of crocheting scraps of material all sewn together with my grandmother. We spent hours tearing up the scraps, sewing them together at the ends and rolling the long strips into a ball.  That took place before any crocheting began.   It is nothing more than a rug, but it symbolizes much more.  The rag rug was something made out of left overs.  Scraps, from things that would have been thrown away.

Like so many things back then, you learned to be resourceful.  If your shoes became worn, you used those shoes to play or work in.  If your clothes wore out they became a quilt or passed on to another.  We grew most of our food, and made sure that we canned and froze and saved for the winter months.  We did this because we couldn’t always afford to buy new things. 

 It was a different era back then.

Though our world is much different today, I learned valuable lessons from the days back on the farm. Lessons that have carried over throughout my whole life.  One of the most important lessons came from this rug, the lesson of resourcefulness and being a good steward of what has been given to us.

There are times in our lives when we will be forced to be resourceful. Times when things turn out different from what was planned and we are left with having to make a beautiful rug out of scraps. It is at these times that we learn who we are and if we have what it takes to make it and succeed.

When the unexpected happens do you panic?

Do you spend more time than necessary trying to deal with it? 

Do you take out your frustration on those around you? 

Every day leaders working to be prepared for new or unexpected situations; intentionally making a difference in the lives around us.

 

The Every Day Leader: Leading on Empty

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I was leaving in a hurry, trying to make an appointment on time, and jumped in the car started to take off when I noticed my gas light was on.

My quick calculation was that I would have enough to make it to the appointment and back so thinking nothing more of it I headed out. As I headed home I took a quick glance and to my dismay I had enough to make it only 2 more miles with more than a mile to go!  I began to wonder why I had waited to fill the car and if I would make it to the gas station up the road. Just as I pulled into the gas station my car died. The car was empty! You could almost hear the deep sigh as I opened the gas tank.

 And then it hit me…

 Not only did I push my car to the limit, but I knew that I have also done that to myself.  I rearrange, I get up early, I stay up late…. all to work more and do more.

How often to we as leaders get to the place where we are running on empty? How many times have we ignored ALL the signs?

 We push ourselves to the point of fitting so much into our schedules that we forget to take care of ourselves.

How about you, do you push until you are empty?

As leaders we need to always live intentionally and think and do differently.  Just as the car cannot move without the gas, neither can we.  We must fill ourselves up – emotionally, physically, relational, spiritually and mentally.

We must as leaders intentionally live healthy.  This means to eat well, exercise, invest in our relationships, take care of our emotional well-being, Invest in our spiritual well-being by spending time with God every day,  and we need to always be looking for ways to sharpen our mental skills.

I want to be that every day leader that chooses to live differently, knowing that when I am healthy I have more to give.  We must choose to  live a life that never leads on empty.

The every day leader, living a life of intention.  Taking care of ourselves, making a difference in those around us.

The Every Day Leader: One is the Loneliest Number

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I laid down beside my grandkids in bed, tucking them in for the night.  It had been six  days since their parents had left, and they were all feeling it. The two-year old was crying out for her mama, it seemed she especially missed her at bedtime.  At first her sister had asked her to be quiet. Yet as the little one continued to cry out, I watched something beautiful transpire. In the semi-darkness, I could see the four-year old reach over and offer her hand to her little sister.

The moments that followed were priceless.  The hands locked fingers, no words were spoken, but the silence was golden.  The littlest one seemed to understand that her older sister was there for her.  She was missing her mama and so was her older sister. In that moment of need, she knew she wasn’t alone.

She knew someone understood.

There are times that we all feel like my sweet little two-year-old year old granddaughter.  We wonder if we are alone.  We wonder if anyone knows how we might be feeling.  We feel isolated.  We keep our feelings stuffed down deep…what would others say?  What would others think? Almost always if we are a leader by position, it is especially a lonely road.

If you are in a position of leadership you often are in a place where you do not have the privilege to share openly your struggles, your frustrations or your fears…so we tend to keep quiet.  Sometimes we cry out in the quietness of our own solitude, where no one can hear us.

We all need that hand that reaches out to us, like that little hand in the darkness with my granddaughters.

We need to know someone understands us and someone cares about us.  We need to know that someone is there to listen, to comfort, to advise, and that we have someone we trust.

We were never meant to be an island, that lifestyle is only sustainable short-term. Success and longevity comes with having a strong trusted confidante who does not change or waver based on YOUR circumstances.  Someone who will speak truth into your life and not just tell you what you want to hear.

If you don’t have someone like that, you need to find that person, TODAY.

It is not enough to have that person, you must be willing to accept the gift they are offering. We must accept the gift of themselves to walk with you and to speak truth into your life, the gift of that hand in your darkest hour, their gift of support in your loneliest times, the gift of trust as you lead. God gives us the gift of others so we don’t have to walk this journey alone.

The every day leader, living a life of intention, making a difference in the lives of others by never walking the road alone.

Be intentional to find someone who will help you be the very best YOU that you can be!

The Every Day Leader: Who Is Shadowing You?

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There is always at least one person that is in my life that I know God has placed there for a reason.  The timing may not always be convenient, it may not always be in my plans, but somehow it always works out.  Somehow God knows just what I need, just what they need.  And always, when I take the time to invest in that person, I get out of it way more than I put into it. 

                                       Happens every time.

Investing in the life of another takes time, effort and a huge part of me and it won’t happen unless I take the time to do it.  It means I have to be willing to sacrifice, I have to be vulnerable, and transparent to share my life with another…my whole life.  There are parts of my life that I am not so proud of, there are times of my life I had to learn lessons the hard way.  When I invest in the life of another, it means sharing those times too. It is truly sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly, because lessons can be learned from every area and all of our life experiences.

The funny thing about investing… those relationships you put your heart and soul into mentoring, they are the ones that never fail to teach me something new about me.  Of course, I sharpen my skills and learn patience and understanding as I learn to work with someone new.  But it is so much more than that.  True mentoring makes me take a hard look at me.  As I teach and share, I also have to evaluate, I have to intentionally seek to understand myself better.  I learn the why’s of the past and begin to  see things from a different perspective.

Most of all, I am taking the time to think things through instead of plowing ahead with the business of life. 

If someone is following in my shadow,  I need to look at the person they are following.  How am I really?  Am I doing all the things I say?  Do I practice what I preach?  Do I lead others in such a way that I am worthy for another to want to be my shadow? Am I patient in answering questions?

Have you ever tried to copy someone’s shadow and anticipate their moves exactly?  It is almost impossible.  It is a pretty big bill to fill to have someone look up to you and want to be mentored by you. You have to be selfless, patient, and giving, even when you are tired or busy.

I look at those who have and who are mentoring me.  I am so thankful for them, for the time they have taken to invest in me and to make me a better person.  They have modeled for me the importance to do the same for another.

Who has God put in your life?  Is it someone who has never had a mother?  A Father?  Someone who needs to learn how to run a business?  Someone you are teaching spiritual principles to? Or maybe it is just someone who seems to be always clamoring for your attention by asking questions about everything you do and have done. They seem to be so eager to learn and soak up like a sponge anything you share.

Mentoring does not have to be lengthy and involved. Do you have an hour a week, twice a month, or a month? Scheduled times of mentoring help focus but there are also many informal times that conversations are had and lessons are imparted.

There are endless ways we can mentor another and endless opportunities to do so. Don’t miss a  chance to invest in another, you just may be surprised at how valuable they are to you!

The Everyday Leader.  Living a life of intention.  Mentoring another, always investing in those around you.

The Every Day Leader: Your Attitude is Contagious

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She sat down next to me on the bench, and out of nowhere began to share her story.  The line that stuck out to me was…“it was a blessing in disguise”.  She had lost everything including her home in a tornado. Yet, she could say it was still a blessing.  She was demonstrating an incredible attitude to me, a stranger.   I was no one she needed to impress, I was not someone in her circle of influence, and I was probably  not going to be someone she ever saw again.

I know her first name and really not much else, but in just those few minutes I spent with her she inspired me.  She was being an every day leader by her contagious attitude about life.  I didn’t know what she did for a living, I didn’t know her family background, her beliefs,  or her history, but what I learned in that short conversation had an impact on me that will last the rest of my life. I was reminded that our attitude is contagious.  She turned a difficult situation into a positive one and shared it with me.   I want to model that attitude.

This encounter was a great reminder to me that our attitudes play a huge role even in the most unexpected places!  I am amazed at the influence we can have on people we don’t even know.  We each have the ability to be someone of influence and that influence can be positive or negative…our attitude can be contagious!

YOU are that every day leader!

How easy is it for us as people to go about our every day lives, doing our own thing, keeping to ourselves  and not even noticing others or taking the time to speak to those around us. How many times have we been at a coffee shop sitting outside and not even say hello to those walking right past us?  Perhaps we never even noticed them. Think about all the opportunities we have each day to influence others – often times it can be as simple as the attitude we demonstrate or in how we react to our own circumstances.

We model to others by how we live our own lives.

What are you modeling?  What are others seeing? Do they see someone who sees the good in life…the blessings in disguise?  Or do they see someone who complains, wonders where the good is and who struggles with life issues?

Modeling a good attitude takes work and LOTS OF PRACTICE.  As every day leaders we must be intentional to model an attitude that is positive and contagious to those around us.  Doing this does not come naturally! 

Your attitude does impact those around you…even a stranger. 

Just like Diane sharing her story reminding me about blessings in disguise, I want to  be intentional in my attitude, making a difference in the lives of others.

An Every Day Leader, Living an intentional life.  Making a difference with my attitude.

 

The Every Day Leader: ENTANGLED!

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There are so many life lessons we can glean from nature if we just look around.  In the south Kudzu grows rapidly, 60 feet a year! Kudzu takes over everything in its path, choking out any kind of life that it encounters. Grown forests become “ghost towns” of memories past.

Our lives are very much like this vine. Little by little we allow things to creep in. Things that SEEM okay at the time.  We often don’t realize just how damaging they can be over time.  These things can be draining and begin to pull on us.  They can come in the form of habits, relationships, even our words.   As everyday leaders that are seeking to live intentionally, we want to become aware of what it is that is weighing us down, entangling us and pulling at us. What is draining the energy, resources, creativity, and life out of us?

Do we have the habit of working too many hours?  Once a good thing, may now become something that is choking the life out of us and stealing our time away from family.  Maybe even costing us our health.

Perhaps we are simply trying to fit too MANY things into our schedule.  These things may all be good, but have become so much that we are pulled in every direction. Being intentional with our schedule means saying NO to things that might be good so that we can say YES to those things that are great.  It means being able to yes to things that match our vision and purpose.

What about  the habit of joking around?  Have our words, once in fun, gotten out of hand?  Are we too concerned about material things, vacations or having success that what was once a dream has now become a burden as we stay driven for more or strive to maintain what we have?

Are we entangled in a relationship that we shouldn’t be in?  Have we compromised at work and allowed questionable practices to take place?

Being intentional means taking the time to cut down the vines that are choking things out.  Once free the plants begin to thrive again.  Before you cut out those things that entangle you, first evaluate what is good or bad, what needs to be trimmed back.

The process is painful but the rewards are great when we take the time to evaluate and trim back those things which entangle us, allowing new growth to help us thrive.

The Every Day Leader.  Living an intentional life.  Being the best you can be.

 

 

The Every Day Leader: STAND OUT!

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Ever pick out your favorite colors in M&M’s when you eat them?  Are you drawn to a particular color?  Statistically, the company puts the highest number of blue in each container…in fact 24% in each bag.  Can you guess the least amount?  Yep, brown, an average of 13%.  Any guesses as to why blue is favored over brown?  I don’t have the answers, but have my own theory.

Blue stands out

We are drawn to people for the same reason. We are often drawn to those people who stand out. It may not be because they are loud or outgoing, or because they are some great leader by position, or because of their following or even their money.  It might be because of their gentle quiet spirit, or maybe it is how they consistently love people.  They may stand out because of their guidance and leadership to those around them.  Whatever it is, we all see it.  They are different.  They are the everyday leaders around us that stand out because of who they are and not for what they do.

These every day leaders are leading and influencing those around them in powerful ways.  Perhaps it is by mentoring another.  Maybe they are influencing someone by tutoring a high risk child.  They may be the leader in a ministry or a business,  leading a few or leading many; regardless, they are making a difference in the lives of others.

Go ahead try it…Stand out. 

We are drawn to those who stand out  by how they behave, how they think, how they respond, their integrity, their words, and their discipline. We know we  can trust them, they have a servant heart and model it. We can count on consistent decisions and a strong confidence.

 We are drawn to their character.

Just like the blue M&M’s stand out, I long to be that everyday leader that people are drawn to because of my character.  I long to be someone who people can count on,  someone who influences the people in my life.  I want to make a difference today.

What about you?  Are you willing to settle to be among the brown M&M’s or do you have the courage to stand out and be bold like the blue M&M’s?  It is never to late to be the best you can be.

Start today.  Stand out. 

Be the Every Day Leader living a life of intention and make a difference.

 

The Every Day Leader: Thinking of Others

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She pulled at my hand begging me to come out to the porch.  As we walked outside my sweet little four-year granddaughter had given me a gift.  Not just any gift, but a gift of her expression of love.  She had picked some flowers from the garden and carefully lined them up on the porch to look “beautiful” for me. 

This was a simple expression of thoughtfulness and love through the eyes of a four-year old.

 

I smile as I think of that gift. I smile because it was done in love. I smile because she was thinking of me and I smile because I felt loved.

Each of us needs those kind of gifts.  Each of us have the ability to give those kinds of gifts to others.  These are simple expressions that show we care about those around us.  They don’t have to cost us much, sometimes just time and effort and making the choice to do it.

Thoughtfulness takes time.  It starts with getting to know those around you.  Each of us have someone in our life that we, as everyday leaders, have been entrusted to influence.

Whose life are you influencing right now?

Have you taken the time to get to know those people, not just on a name basis, but really know them?  If we take the time to learn about those around us, we gain new insights into them and their lives. We hear what they are dreaming about, we hear what they struggling with, sometimes we simply offer the gift of much-needed laughter.  If we are intentional we have the opportunity to learn so much more than just a simple good morning and how are you!  Even in our personal lives with our own family members, how often do we get so busy that we don’t know what is really going with them or what they are thinking?

What about those that you work with or that work for you?  How much do  you know about them?  How about our neighbors?

When was the last time you took time for a cup of coffee to check on a friend?  Are you the leader of a group?  How much more would those who work for you thrive if you took time to invest in them?

Simple ways to express you care and show others that you value them:

  •  A simple  phone call
  • Send a card
  • Meet for coffee
  • Schedule a lunch
  • Help them accomplish a dream
  • Surprise them with something they would never do for themselves but would love to do
  • Practice active listening

For those who are team leaders or managers, here are some ways to show you value those who work for you:

  • Keep an open door so people know you are approachable
  • Take time to say hello to each person in the morning
  • Surprise them with them with something thoughtful
  • Write a thank you card and express your gratitude for their hard work

We all need to know that others care about us.

Today, think of those in your life that you touch.  Maybe there is someone you have meant to reach out to but simply haven’t taken the time.  Don’t let another day pass, take the time today to do something thoughtful.

Be thoughtful.  Value another.  It is an intentional way of life that can truly make a difference!

Everyday leaders.  Living a Life of Intention.  Giving the gift of thoughtfulness.

The Every Day Leader: The Hands of a Father

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I grew up seeing these strong hands fix so many things on the farm. They were the hands that were always there to help when I needed him.  These hands were hands that gripped a strong cup of coffee as he talked with a neighbor. They helped out in the community and comforted others.

These hands, these very special hands were the hands of my father, gentle yet strong.

I admire my father; this quiet man lived his values out and modeled them every day. He showed us what integrity looked like, how to be trustworthy, what it means to have a strong work ethic, and how to build a strong foundation in your life.

He showed us that people always came before things and that being a person of your word should be valued above everything.

Who I am today is due to a large part of my father’s influence and what he modeled to me growing up. The life lessons have never left me and have shaped me and made who I am.

I won’t be with my father this father’s day.  We live over a thousand miles apart, yet I pray he always knows the impact that his life has had on me.

My father, an everyday leader, making a difference and impacting lives.

 Happy Father’s Day! 

May all of  you fathers be an every day leader to your family and those around you.

The everyday leader.  Choosing to live a life of intention.