Tag Archives: listening

The Every Day Leader: The Art of Listening

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I watched her as she thought about just how she was going to convince her mom to allow her to have another piece of candy…before dinner.  After all, it seemed rational since we had an Easter egg hunt in the yard earlier and found eggs filled with candy.  Her eyes seem to twinkle as she approached her mother with her reasoning. I also really enjoyed watching her face as her mother took the time to listen to her  ‘why’.

I was reminded of the importance for all of us to see the other person’s perspective.  It may not seem to be the right perspective to us; but the bigger picture is the message of what transpires during that time of listening.

My little granddaughter felt heard.

For that moment, she felt important and valued.  It didn’t even matter if she didn’t get the answer she wanted, because the message she took away was that her thoughts mattered.

Her mother had the wisdom to understand that.

It’s what we do as every day leaders.  We understand the importance of not only listening to someone when they are hurting, but listening to them when they are expressing their opinions – even if they are different from ours.

By listening, we send a message that we value them.

Listening takes time.  Sometimes, time is hard to give.  Every day leaders learn the skill of taking the time, hearing and listening; but also the art of boundaries when needed.

Most of all, we learn to give the message that people matter. 

We show this not just by our words,  not just by our actions, but sometimes by taking the time to sit quietly and listening to them.  This is true, even if it is a crazy idea like candy before dinner! 

How are your listening skills?  Have you taken the time to listen to another’s opinion lately?  Do they feel valued?

Every day leaders choose to listen.  They intentionally choose to make another feel valued, showing them that their opinion matters.  Every day leaders choose to influence – making a difference in the lives of those around us.

The Every Day Leader: What are YOU saying?

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It is a beautiful  day and as I sit out on the porch taking just a few minutes to enjoy it, a slight wind blows and then it happens…the nonstop barking of a dog.  I have no idea the reason he is  barking, but it doesn’t really matter.  All I know it that is just doesn’t stop.  The tranquility and much-needed quiet moments are no longer quiet and enjoyable.

The little dog is not much different than people we have met. We all know the ones who talk and talk and seem to get great enjoyment from hearing themselves utter words and yet have nothing really to say. They rarely have the intention of listening to others or even in engaging in a conversation.  It truly is all about them.  Because you can rarely get a word in, all you can do is beginning moving towards the door….

Even leaders have been known for their incessant talking, because of their position and because they can. May we, as leaders, be intentional in our speech. May we choose our words wisely. Our words should inspire those we come in contact with: our team, our family, friends, and even strangers we meet. Our words should be meaningful and honoring to those we speak to, always taking into account the audience we are speaking with.

We don’t have to be a Winston Churchill inspiring the masses to greatness every time, but our words should be intentional and worth listening to time and again. We speak not to get followers or gain approval, but to build-up those around us, to encourage, and to ignite their passions so that they may do great things.

What we say is HUGE, but what we DON’T SAY is even bigger. Our actions should always match our words. Your body language is the first thing seen and heard.  This happens way before your words and often times, THAT is what is remembered.

Next time you go to speak, stop and ask yourself: Are my words intentionally chosen? Do I have something to say or am I just talking?  Am I walking the talk and do my actions align with what I am saying?  Or am I simply being like that little dog… loud and obnoxious and turning off those around me.

Every Day Leaders intentionally choose their words wisely. They speak when they have something to say, but they listen far more.